Is there a difference? You bet there is! The hard part is... they often feel one in the same.
Last week I had a very important conversation with Daniel that I hope will stick with him for the rest of his life. He is becoming a young man and is now in the world of social media... Facebook, Instagram and the like. We have already had the talk about what to post... we don't post things that are negative or demeaning and if there is something that is bothering him, I better hear it from him rather than from seeing it in a post! A couple times last week we had to have a conversation - not about what he posted necessarily - but what he was sharing from other people... pictures, posts, etc. Needless to say, it resulted in his privileges being taken away for a week (including the use of his phone altogether). I have to give it to him, he is such a good kid and really wants to do right so he was more upset about having to have the conversation than he was about losing his privileges. After it was all over, he came to me and asked... "So am I in trouble or is this like 'a lesson'?". I'm glad he asked.
I had to explain to him that while there were consequences to his actions, our decision to give him a "time-out" from technology was more for the purpose of allowing him time to think about what he says and does rather than to punish him for doing something wrong. He is still maturing (physically, mentally and spiritually) and there is a level of understanding he does not yet possess. We felt it very important to allow him to learn from his actions while still experiencing the result of unintended wrongdoing. Even as an adult... just because you didn't know the speed limit doesn't mean you won't get a ticket if you are speeding. Hopefully, it teaches you to be more aware of your surroundings so that it won't happen again (or if it does happen again it was because you chose to ignore it!).
Later on, Daniel even came to me and said... "Dad, I really think I just don't want to be on Facebook or Instagram at all.". Like I said, in his heart, he wants to please people and do whatever necessary to not get "in trouble" but this wasn't a realistic choice to me either (it's like choosing not to drive a car because you got a speeding ticket!). This gave us yet another opportunity to talk about the reality of guarding our heart from things that might make us want to do wrong. Sometimes we do need to completely give up things that cause us to stumble, but at this point, I would rather him learn to use them responsibly. After all... in today's world, Facebook and Instagram are just another means of communication and whether you are saying it or typing it (or even thinking it) you eventually have to learn the art and skill of effective communication to be successful. I really like the acronym that his school uses for things like this... THINK. Before saying (or repeating) something, ask yourself... Is it TRUE? Is it HELPFUL? Is it INSPIRING? Is it NECESSARY? Is it KIND? If not, then maybe you might need to ask yourself if it needs to be said at all.
While disciplining yourself isn't always fun... it gets easier with practice. It doesn't have to feel like punishment. It's all in how you approach it.
"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11
No comments:
Post a Comment