Is YouTube Safe For Kids?

The first question we should ask is, are there parental controls in place? Also, is YouTube doing enough about the proliferation of adult related content on its site, if there is any?

First, YouTube does have racy content, but that doesn't mean it features porn related material. If you consider snippets of swim suit clad models sexually suggestive then you need to disable internet access for your child completely. Nudity is natural, not an obscenity. YouTube is not teaching your children to feel ashamed of their body, and neither is YouTube promoting sexual related content that would suggest they go out and have sex.

If violence is a concern for you then YouTube has allowed questionable content to pass through its filters on several occasions. Some of you readers out there may recall the Daniel Pearl execution many years ago which aired on YouTube. This recording was quickly pulled down in time so that not everybody got to see someone get killed. Since then, YouTube has improved its filtering methods so that these incidences do not occur again.

When there was a proliferation of materials on bomb making, and terror related content on YouTube several years ago, this too was caught early enough and promptly removed for public safety. The idea here is parental controls. YouTube offers a variety of settings that will prevent children from accessing anything that could be harmful to them and public safety.

Children are more internet savvy than their parents. YouTube is just one of many sites that have questionable content. Maybe one way would be is to reduce or physically monitor the content their child is watching, or remove it all together.

Is YouTube safe for kids? Yes, it is. Completely safe? No, it isn't. That would depend on the discipline level of parent to child. Content is information, and information is free public access. Whether that content endangers others is purely a matter of personal opinion. If we can show police officers killing or shooting suspects on television, then who is determining why I get to see that information over anything else. Content providers could just as easily tell parents to turn off their television sets, or change the channel. YouTube could show images of war where American soldiers are killing people overseas. Would that be considered indecent material for me or my child to watch?

If the content provider has to be responsible for what it airs on television then how much is too much? Who establishes the limits on gratuitous violence? Parents should be held accountable for the devices they provide their children to watch and listen to, but do not infringe nor impinge on the freedom of information and public access for the free flow of that information. Ultimately, parents have to decide the content they want their child to watch, and if they are unable to control that content then the parent has to remove the electronic devices their children are using. Parents cannot place the responsibly solely on the backs of the content provider. This is because there are no fail safe methods available that will completely shield children from questionable content. It still ultimately fall on the parents.

Organizing a List of Chores For Your Kids

Chore chart systems can really be quite easy. In this article I'll give you some direction effective chore charts used to teach children important adult life skills and give them self-confidence.

My children have been doing chores since they were toddlers. Back then they worked alongside mommy folding laundry and picking up. Then we progressed to new jobs like organizing silverware and dusting furniture. As they got older, the chores changed based on the child's ability. They got the chance to clean the bathroom sinks, empty garbage cans, dust window sills, and vacuum carpets.

Once they could do these chores, usually by age four or five, then we moved on to a four-year-old chore chart. The four-year-old chart was simple and predictable but also presented new challenges each day. It helped the children learn multiple tasks during each week, and offered bonding time with older siblings and parents during some chore time.

Example of a Four-Year-Old's Chore Chart

• Monday- Laundry and silverware, Dinner - Help the cook
• Tuesday- Window Sills, Dinner chore - Help the cook
• Wednesday- Vacuum Family room, Family yard work assignment, Dinner - Help the cook
• Thursday- Empty trash cans and wash one, Dinner - Help the cook
• Friday- Help Mom wash bathroom floors, Dinner - Help the cook
• Saturday- Wash sink in the Fishy Bathroom, Family yard work assignment, Dinner - Help the cook
• Sunday- A day of rest, Dinner - Help the cook
• Say "OK" to all other Instructions too.

At six-year-old, a chore chart, though still very similar to the four-year-old's chart, requires more independence. And, because they are still quite young, there are still instances where six-year-old children should be working alongside older siblings and parents, which allows for bonding and increased skill development.

Example of a Six Year-Old's Chore Chart

• Monday- Laundry and silverware
• Tuesday- Window Sills
• Wednesday- Vacuum Family room, Family yard work assignment, Dinner- cook with mom
• Thursday- Empty trash cans and wash one
• Friday- Help mom wash bathroom floors
• Saturday- Wash sink in the Fishy Bathroom, Family yard work assignment
• Sunday- A day of rest
• Say "OK" to all other Instructions

A rotating chore chart system, for children over age eight, could be used. Specific lists of chores rotate every week from one child to the next. The variety of chores taught and the opportunity they give each child for skill development and mastery is the main reason for rotating the chores.

Example of Rotating Chores Lists for Two Children Over 8 Years (switch lists each week)

ROTATING CHORE LIST #1 (gets to sit in front seat of car)

• Monday: Cook night & floor, vacuum the upstairs, empty trash cans, laundry
• Tuesday: Set table & dishes, wash small bathroom, dust banister
• Wednesday: unload & clear table, wash one window and blind, sweep garage porch, family yard work time
• Thursday: Cook night & floor, vacuum stairs, wash dust boards
• Friday: Load dishes & clean sink, organize a cupboard or drawer, wash kitchen chairs
• Saturday: Unload & Clean Table, dog poop or cat litter, organize toy room (ask mom), Yard Work assignment

ROTATING CHORE LIST #2

• Monday: Set table & dishes, wash kitchen floor, wash bed sheets, laundry
• Tuesday: Cook night & floor, wash entry tile, wash cupboard fronts,
• Wednesday: Load & clean sink, Vacuum basement, wash toy room floor, family yard work time
• Thursday: Set Table & dishes, wash basement bathroom,dust upstairs
• Friday: unload/clear table, clean master bathroom, clean mirrors and glass
• Saturday: set table & load, Dog poop or cat litter, Stove/Sink/Microwave, yard work assignment

The Stewardship System

I first heard about a stewardship system from my good friend Diann Jeppson, who is a leadership and home education guru. But, even though I had heard about a stewardship approach to doing chores, I didn't feel my children were really ready for it yet. I knew that teaching certain skills would be the first step, then would come the ownership of the chores needing to be done. A stewardship gives a child a deeper understanding of actions, as well as an appreciation for others who perform actions in their behalf.

Stewardships are necessary for teaching someone leadership or self-government. In order to learn self-government, a person has to have a vision of what is possible, and what needs to be done to fix a problem as well as the skills to do the project. Chore stewardships are the perfect mini-projects for developing these skills and problem solving strategies. They are a vital building blocks for healthy, motivated, and confident children and adults.

People who are regularly given stewardships from a young age are usually the people who become great leaders. I have recently made the switch to a stewardship chore system because I want my children to have leadership opportunities.

How to Design Your Chores Stewardship System

For older children who have mastered basic home cleaning, the home can be divided into sections, then list in detail each small job that needs to be done daily and weekly in that section of your home (the lists can get quite long --just think of all that you do in a week to keep a section of the home clean, and write it all down). Once the older children are taught how to properly perform the cleaning tasks that are new to them for their assigned section, they are put in charge of a section. That means they make sure their assigned area's tasks are taken care of on a daily/weekly basis depending on the mini-chores required to keep it clean. (Making sure they take care of their stewardship is a topic for another article, just know that it is possible.) The Stewardships can be rotated as seems appropriate, weekly, monthly, even yearly if that makes sense to you.

In summary, children who are taught how to do chores properly and are, over time, given more responsibility to contribute to the family through their efforts, gain self-confidence, increase family bonding, and learn valuable problem solving and leadership skills. The keys are (1) having a system that everyone understands, one that is tailored to the age and ability of the children, and (2) coaching/teaching children in the chore-skills they need to master to successfully complete their chores.

You Are Pregnant for 15 Months

"You are pregnant for 15 months." This huge statement isn't based upon some strange notion of not agreeing to be induced if a baby is over its due date. Its based upon the physiological norms that our babies expect to happen.

When we conceive our much wanted babies, we work out our due dates accurately. We count forward nine months and a week from our last period and arrive at an expected date of delivery. We know religiously how many weeks pregnant we are. In fact in some cases we know how many weeks, days and hours and even minutes pregnant we are. And yet the reality is that we are only actually carry a baby in utero for 38 weeks but we say 40 weeks for ease of calculation and because we cannot accurately predict when we conceived. There is always the caveat that actually there is a small percentage of us who do actually know the hour and the day when we conceived but that would be another blog.

So now that we have established that we are pregnant, and let's say its nine months for argument's sake, where does the sweeping statement of "pregnant for 15 months" have any credence.

This is based upon what our babies expect from us. Biologically our babies are born very immature, they are unable to survive outside the womb on their own. They are also unable to stand and run around unlike a lot of other mammals and are very under advanced considering in the evolutionary line of things we are very advanced. The reason for this is that the size of the adult human brain would be unable to pass through the 10 cms that nature allocated at birth. So Mother Nature in her wisdom designed our babies to be born and live outside of it's mother's womb at a very immature stage of its development but made a huge allowance for this. Mother Nature did this by designing our babies to still be nurtured fully 100% by its mother for a least an additional 6 months. So if we add the 9 months of internal carrying and nurturing of our babies with the 6 months of external carrying and nurturing of our babies, we as mothers, are pregnant for 15 months.

As humans we are very fortunate. Consider that elephants are actually internally pregnant for 3 years but on the plus side their babies can stand and run at birth. A young elephant calf will continue to nurse for 6 months and will drink 21 pints of milk a day. Imagine trying to express that!

Kangaroos are internally pregnant in the womb for just 39 days but then will nurse for at least 5 months. Another fascinating fact about kangaroos is that they will tandem feed, which means they will feed two joeys of differing ages at the same time and the really incredible feat is that the milk for each joey will be different. Now that is really Mother Nature at its best.

So when considering how to view pregnancy and early babyhood, it is worth the thought that we are actually pregnant for 15 months. So nine months internal, six months eternal.

For more information and support that is tailormade for you as a unique mammal, contact Easy Breastfeeding.

Is Parent Coaching For Me?

Parent coaching is exactly what the name implies. It is NOT therapy. Parent coaching is a relatively new way to support parents who want to parent well. Parenting today is a challenge for which we receive very little training for. Children do not come with an Owner's Manual. Parenting involves certain skills that can be taught, learned, and improved upon with dedicated practice.

What therapy focuses on:

• the past and present
• why me? why this?
• treatment
• undoing
• unresolved issues
• medical model
• healing the past
• absorbing information

BUT coaching focuses on:

• the present and the future
• what now? what next?
• co-creation
• doing
• new goals and actions
• growth and learning model
• creating a future
• acting on information

Who uses parenting coaches?

• Dads
• Moms
• Single Parents
• Stepparents
• Parent Couples
• Adoptive Parents

Why would you have a parenting coach?

Do you find yourself getting frustrated with your children? Do you question your parenting decisions? Do you feel like you and your partner are on different pages when it comes to your children? Do you feel like you have no time or energy left to take care of yourself and your relationship with your partner?

At one point, every parent answers YES to these questions.

How does parent coaching work?

Coaching takes place weekly by phone or in person sessions. I will be your private coach, and my passion is to get you the results you want. You will learn new strategies for handling the struggles you are facing and you will start to parent with confidence. You will be able to face the power-struggles and deal with them and even avoid them.

Through parent coaching you will be able to enjoy the time you spend with your children. You will build a strong family unit. You will make parenting look easy!

Partnering with me, your parent coach, you will see your dream of being a strong family become a deeply satisfying reality. From week to week, you will choose steps for yourself to take you into this new reality. In the midst of whatever parenting problems you face, you will be able to relax and return to your family with new attitudes, understandings and ideas.

Do both parents need to be on the calls?

No. That being said, it's great if they can both work together.

Do you work with groups?

Yes! If you have a few friends and want a regular space to learn and grow as a parent, we can make that happen.

When Is Public Too Public and Should You Care?

One of the biggest worries of a new mother when breastfeeding is the challenge of being out and about with a new baby. Breastfeeding is so easy and convenient and one of its distinct advantages is that when you do venture out with the baby, then there is not a whole plethora of equipment needed for when its time to feed.

You've been told it's just so easy when you need to feed. Food on the go, the ultimate fast food for babies. Or is it? When it's actually time to feed your baby in public, is it so easy? In those early days when you're still struggling with attachment and positioning and just getting the baby to latch on is like completing a marathon, is it easy? It's fine when you're at home and you can strip off and spend five minutes making sure the baby is positioned correctly as you remember the right order to do things. Was it nose to nipple first or chin leading? When you're in that café and on view of the rest of the customers, you suddenly don't think that perhaps that five minutes whilst you get it right is appropriate viewing for the lunchtime rush. You're not sure if Café Nero had actually accounted for the free showing of your breasts to the rest of its clientele.

So what is the answer? Do you spend hours and hours at home practicing until you can accurately position and attach in 10 seconds and under? You begin to time yourself; you've finally found a use for the stop watch on your smart phone. Monday was 5 minutes and with daily practice when you've got to Friday, you have it down to just 10 seconds. Your partner is beginning to wonder what all the pieces of paper are around the room that say 1 minute; 40 seconds; and the ultimate one that is written in red; 10 seconds! He probably sighs a big sigh of relief when he realizes its in relation to the attachment race and not in relation to him.

Is there a better way? A more mummy friendly way that also satisfies your baby's hunger and doesn't offend the rest of civilization. There are several considerations you may wish to ponder:

• Take a lactivistic point of view and think that your baby is just feeding and not give it a second thought as to what people think. You never complain when the couple in the corner are smooching over their coffee or when Uncle Ted has spilt all his tea down his tie.

• Think people shouldn't be watching anyway. Doesn't it border on voyeurism which is now illegal? And you never show an interest in what other people are eating for lunch, so why should anyone be interested in what your baby is eating.

• Consider the point that actually in England if anyone asked you to stop feeding they would be in breach of the Equality Act 2010 and you could sue.

• Consider the point that actually if you are in Scotland and someone asks you to stop breastfeeding, you can get them arrested. Now its beginning to get more interesting

• There are specifically designed covers that have been created for this particular issue which discreetly cover the breast whilst breastfeeding.

Those are just a few considerations that you may wish to ponder. One thing to bear in mind is that your baby will know exactly the most inconvenient and awkward moment to want to be fed and will make sure that you know about it as well. The only answer to that is, that's parenthood for you - children are designed to embarrass their parents in best way possible and this only increases as they get older. Just remember that they will become teenagers and then the expression "revenge is a dish best served cold" truly comes into its own.

Reasons Men Leave Their Families

More than 24 million children are raised in homes where the biological father is not present, and the number is growing. What that means is that men - fathers - are increasingly likely to leave the home before their children turn 18.

The reasons men leave their families or become less involved if they do not live in the same household as their children, are varied. Some reasons I have found include:

Unresolved issues with the mother

Many fathers check out of their children's lives because they don't feel like the hassle of having bad conversations or drama with the mothers. They would rather avoid the conflict than have unpleasant conversations, fights, etc. In the process of avoiding the conflict, they also avoid the children. This can even happen in situations where the fathers were very involved in the children's lives once upon a time, before the breakup.

Demanding work schedule

Working overtime or in a location far away from the children's home can mean fathers see less of their children. The additional work hours can require adjustments on the part of one or both parents, including adjusting lifestyle, visitation, etc. The change can also require additional cooperation on the part of both parents, to make sure the father remains in the children's lives.

New relationships

Some fathers make sure to remain in their children's lives regardless of who is in their lives. Other fathers, though, find it difficult to maintain contact when they begin dating or get married. For them, new dating or marital relationships mean their children see them less because of new demands on the fathers' time, insecurity of the new mates, conflict between the mother and new mate, etc.

Incarceration or drug abuse

Incarceration takes fathers away from many children. I see it daily in my work in the prison system. Drug abuse also is a reason why many fathers leave their children. The drug abuse and incarceration are often very closely related, as one often leads to the other.

Father absence has many causes. Addressing the causes of father absence can help fathers learn how to maintain relationships with their children, even when the relationship between the parents has failed.

When we address father absence to help keep more fathers in their children's lives, we can have a positive impact not only on the lives of those individual families and children, but also on our communities.

Children need their fathers.

Kid Blogs: A New Passion I Just Discovered

On the weekend, I had the inspiration to set up kid blogs for my kids. My son already had a free blog at blogger so I just had to move it over to a WordPress platform for him, which was pretty simple.

His blog is called "My Karate Life" and he started it a few years ago. He hasn't contributed to it much lately but now that he is trying to get to Japan for the Karate World Championships in July, he is going to start adding content more regularly so that people can follow his progress.

As a mom blogger, it just makes sense to teach my kids to blog. I mean why not. It's simple enough to set up kid blogs and it will give them a little 'real world' education in the online world, as well as a chance to make some money of their own over time and practice some writing skills.

Blogging to make money is a longterm strategy. The more consistently you blog over time, the more highly your blog will rank on the search engines. So why not start now?

I have this found this passion suddenly for setting up kid blogs and if you have a child who is passionate about something, and you think that writing an article a week would be help them become a better communicator, I'd love to help you get some kid blogs up for your children. It's just fun.

It's one of those things that I just want to do, regardless of whether or not I make money.

I have created a header for my daughter's blog already, but she is still deciding what she wants her domain name to be. The ones we have tried to get so far have been taken. My daughter's blog is going to be about cheerleading.

As with any blog, kid blogs need to focus on a specific niche. I figure that once their blogs are running smoothly, they could add other niche blogs to their inventory. As they get older, they will be passionate about other things as well.

Being an example to my kids is important to me and today, helping them learn new skills that will help them later in life is one of the best things a parent can do. Helping them learn to think outside the box, and learn to blog is one.

How are you helping your kids stand out?

Anyway, that's it for today. Just having fun playing with kid blogs and loving it.

Rebecca