Effective Consequences Series: Loss of Treasured Items

Whenever a teen breaks a rule or fails to help around the home, they will lose a treasured item, such as their cell phone or laptop. Because teens value these items so much, they will be much more likely to comply with rules so that they can continue to enjoy using these items. Many children are simply given things without restriction and begin to feel a sense of entitlement towards things that their parents have worked really hard to provide. Implementing loss of treasured items can help teach your child that their benefits are dependent on their behavior and input around the home.

What Items Can be Used as Consequences?

Any item that your teen really values can be used as an effective consequence. The more they value the item, the more likely they will be to avoid losing it. Here are some suggestions of treasured items that you can use as an effective consequence:

• Cell Phone
• Laptop
• Gaming Station
• TV
• Internet Access
• Home Phone Access
• Pocket Money
• Make-up
• Use of Car

It should be noted, for most teens, any item that allows them to see their friends or acts as an extension of their social life will be highly valued by a teen and therefore a very effective consequence. Many parents feel guilty taking their child's treasured items away from them, but it's important to remember that these are luxuries that you are providing your child with. Your child should only enjoy such benefits if their behavior and attitudes deem them deserving. If they are failing to help around the home or behave well, then they simply do not deserve these luxuries until they their behavior improves.

How Long Should my Teen Lose Their Items For?

This depends a lot on the severity of your teen's contract violation - if it is only a little mistake, maybe your teen could just lose their treasured item overnight. If it is a very severe violation your teen might lose a few items for an extended period of time. It's important that you ensure you are as fair as possible when taking a treasured item away from your teen. It is also a good idea to sit down and discuss the loss of the item with your teen, explaining how long they will lose it for, why they are losing it and with clear information as to when your teen will get it back.

Have you used a treasured item as an effective consequence before? Did you find it motivated your teen?